Why not rejoice when others rejoice?
Exciting things are happening in our back yard. Milkweed is sprouting in our wildflower garden. The first hummingbird of the season visited our coral honeysuckle vine. Best of all, the house wren has returned. He is singing up a storm while he builds a nest in the bird house that hangs in our dogwood tree.
But there have been complications. Sparrows have been fighting the house wren for control of the bird house. It’s a pointless battle. The sparrows can’t fit into the house. Still, they attempt to deny the house wren entry to his rightful home.
The sparrows’ churlish behavior reminded me of a Wall Street Journal article I read this week: “Five unexpected things people went to war for in their divorce.” Who knew that couples would fight tooth and nail for a Walgreens Rewards account or a leg lamp?
Even more noteworthy were the motivations. “I just didn’t want her to have it,” said the winner of the Walgreens Rewards custody battle. One divorce attorney reported, “Although my client would have loved a different outcome, he was satisfied with putting his wife through months of pain,” after he finally gave up his bitter struggle for the family dog.
Sparrows are not moral agents, but their behavior is symbolic of the soul-sickness that afflicts several of the people in the Journal article: envy. Envy is the deadly sin of wishing that other people didn’t have the good things they have, whether it’s a leg lamp, a promotion, or (if sparrows really were moral agents), a nice, cozy birdhouse in a dogwood tree. St. Paul urges us to “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep” (Rom. 12:15). Envy turns that admonition upside down. Envy rejoices when someone else is weeping (which the Germans call Schadenfreude), and weep when someone else is rejoicing.
Envy, writes Will Wilimon, may be the deadliest of the Seven Deadly Sins. It can be enjoyable to indulge in lust, gluttony, pride, sloth, vanity, and even anger. But feeling bad when someone else is feeling good feels… bad. And the feeling of Schadenfreude I get when UNC is eliminated from the NCAA Tournament is cold comfort indeed.
What is the cure for this deadly sin? It starts with gratitude. Give thanks to God for the blessings you have. The more grateful you feel about your own life, the less likely you are to look at the lives of others through the green eye of envy. And there is much to be thankful for, even in difficult circumstances!
Then turn your attitude of gratitude into concrete acts of kindness toward others. Kindness feels much better than envy. In fact, acts of kindness have been shown to cause the release dopamine, the brain’s feel good chemical. Scroll down in this week’s newsletter to find a ministry that gives you the best opportunity to show kindness to others.
